The week that I woke up

This past week has been incredible.  Let me rephrase that.  This past week, I have been incredible.  I have exercised.  I have had extra calories leftover at the end of the day.  In short, I’m kicking ass.


I attribute this awakening to my nutritionist Kerry.  She gave me two simple words this session to practice.  No excuses.  Now, let’s understand how huge this is:  I am a born again procrastinator.  I take procrastination to an art form.  Diet?  I’ll start Monday (first uttered in 2002, then started in 2014).  Dishes?  Let’s just buy paper plates until the Board of Health knocks on the door.  Once, I accidentally peed my pants as a child because I didn’t want to stop shopping to use the restroom…ok, I was 14, moving on. 

For the past decade, I’ve been living life like a snooze bar.  Exercise?  Weight loss?  Housework?  Vacation?  Snoooooooze!  After I left my session with Kerry, I went home and exercised.  The next day, I wouldn’t allow myself to utter a single excuse or put anything off.  Then later in the day, feeling rather saucy, I said to the hubs “I need to exercise, let’s walk for an hour.”  He gave me his famous eyeroll with this “oh great, here she goes again” look.  So we walked.  And walked.  And then I whined.  And whined.  And whined.  “Are we home yet?  Whose stupid idea was this?  Hey a shortcut!  I’m not going to make it.  I think I have diaper rash.”  The hubs wouldn’t let me quit, he kept taunting me, even walking backwards to give me a chance to catch up, which I could not do.  BUT…an hour and six minutes later, we were home.  I had made my goal and walked 4 miles in the process.  This is huge.  Two months ago, I was stopping after five minutes because my back was killing me.  The next day, I wasn’t going to have time to exercise after work, so I worked out on lunch.  Say what?  You heard me!  I jumped on my exercise bike and worked that bad boy.  Then I hauled my tired muscles and slight case of body odor back to work and bragged to anyone who would listen.  Most could have cared less so I made sure to whiff my armpits at them any time I could.  Hey, get on board or smell my b.o.! 

I’ve also been taking the time to faithfully log all my consumed foods into my Fitbit app.  I have been totally slacking on this and now I’m being completely honest because how is the app to know if I ate a King Size Snickers bar and didn’t log it?  So no more Bill Clinton-ing the Fitbit, I’m being honest.  (Side note: I am totally anti-calorie counting and have always refused to do it but my way is obviously not working, thus…I’m counting calories, actually the Fitbit is counting calories, I’m just punching food into my phone.)  It’s crazy how fast calories stack up.  Who decided it was legal for steak to have less calories than ice cream?  Ugh. 

Saturday night, I attended a wedding reception.  Congrats to my friend Sara, my skinny friend Sara, my skinny friend Sara that had mountains of candy and cake at her reception.  I had carefully planned my menu for the day around the nacho bar that I planned to indulge in at the reception.  It was tough keeping myself occupied all day so that I wouldn’t pork out on whatever I could get my hands on but I made sure to keep myself busy and to stay out of the kitchen.  Actually, the kitchen is a disaster right now because we’ve been cooking on the grill all week while doing landscaping so I’ve barely been in the house to clean, so if I had gone to the kitchen for food, I would have been faced with the fact that the kitchen needs cleaned and who needs that kind of pressure when there is a nacho bar waiting for them in a few hours?!?  And let me tell you, I ate those nachos and all the over processed nacho cheese I could handle and did not go over my calorie count for the day.  It was so good.  Honestly, I think I moaned a little.  I’m also spending today, drinking as much water as I can to wash the sodium out of my body but it was a freaking nacho bar! 

To sum up the past week – I have a new found discipline that I have not possessed in a long time.  I’m drinking water, exercising on lunch (wtf?) and limiting my calorie intake.  I didn’t think any of this was possible for me!  I have wanted this discipline, I’ve been searching for it and now I have it.  Hanging onto it will be a whole new battle.  I can win the battle, it may take a couple of nacho bar rewards, but I’m in the zone.  Get on board or smell my b.o.!

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