Monday. The first day back after a 4 day weekend. I cannot put into words how much coffee is necessitated by this fact. I’m not really tired but more…fussy. Kinda like a kid that has lost its binky.
Example: I walk into the snack room at work to get my second cup of coffee. It is 9am. Ordinarily there are two pots of caffeinated nectar flowing at this still early hour. But not today. No. Someone has decided to turn off one pot, limiting coffee dispensing to one pot. In my head, I go into the following rage: Mother of God! Who, I repeat WHO, has decreed themselves God and decided only one pot of coffee needs to be going? It is 9am, 9AM!!! And Monday! Un-freaking, crappin’ crap, unacceptable!
Needless to say, my passive aggressive tantrum reminded me that as bad as the Monday after a 4 day weekend is, it is always better than the first Monday of a new diet. Which brings me to next Monday….let’s just say there had better be two pots of coffee brewing!
The week between Christmas and New Year’s has become what I’ve affectionately termed Oink Week. It’s the week where we know the eating season should come to a stop but the new year is approaching, and along with it, the resolution of losing weight.
Therefore, instead of getting a jump on that weight loss resolution, we plunge ourselves face deep in whatever forbidden food we can find. Mexican food smothered in 8 pounds of sour cream, McDonald’s french fries, Reese’s Blizzard, and bacon. Omg the bacon. I love bacon so much, it’s dirty love. Dirty, greasy, crispy pig love. Mmmmmm bacon.
So as I continue my Oink Week pigout, alternating between bites of M&Ms and menu planning veggie dominated foods for next week (and the rest of my life), I quietly whisper to bacon “we’re not breaking up, we’re just scaling back my passion for you from dirty, sweet pig love to less dirty pig love.” Hey, baby steps people.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year! And bacon filled sugar plums dancing in your heads.