My @#!&^ resolutions

Ah New Year’s Day.  The day when we start to fulfill those obligatory resolutions. Most times I don’t even bother. As a kid, I did the whole “I’ll listen better, keep my room cleaner, etc.” while my mom did the whole “yeah, I’ll give you til noon” look.

Here are of my few resolutions:
*lose weight
*start a new habit every month: drink all my water, no pop, wash my makeup off at night, etc.
*avoid jail time (hoping I nail this one)
*wake up earlier (I always fail at this one because I believe I’m naturally nocturnal so if I wake up earlier, then I have to go to bed earlier, so redundant,  let’s put this one on the ‘if I need more resolutions’ back up list)
*exercise 30 minutes every day (excluding today because it’s a federal holiday and Jesus would want me to chill)

For my first month’s habit, I am instituting prima nocta. Gotcha. Kidding. I’ve always wanted to say that. But I’m not gay and will not be porking virginal brides on their wedding night. That would be a helluva resolution though. “Yo hubs! I’ve decided to be that horny old king from Braveheart and change teams for a month. It’s cool though, I’ll be back in 30 days.”

Where was I? Oh yeah, the first habit: drink all my water for 30 days. And document it. In pictures. I will post the pictures but only if I look better after the 30 days. Far be it from me to de-motivate someone because I look worse afterwards.  Did you guys see the pictures of the lady that did this? Her hair, skin, lips all looked better!

So I need to be disciplined because I’d like to have better skin, better hair and all that jazz because right now Ohio wind has my skin dried out and my hair frizzy. Picture this: if Gargamel (winging the spelling) and 80s Stevie Nicks had a love child, I would be the fruit of their loins.

What are your resolutions?

2 thoughts on “My @#!&^ resolutions

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