I have returned

Where the eff have I been? I haven’t posted in forever.  I wish I could say I’ve been really busy traveling the world,  or practicing my Miss America routine or even getting greased up for my next bodybuilding competition but it would be lies…all lies.

I did injure my back and that kind of sucked the joy out of life for about a month. So now I sit here, writing this, trying to talk myself into grocery shopping because I absolutely deplore grocery shopping.

Before I head to the store, I have to stop at the gym. And…buy a membership.  A multitude of factors played into this decision: my back hurting, my knees hurt after taking a flight of stairs, the 80 year old walking past me on the sidewalk last week and my jugs always being in my way.

So here I go. Putting on my big girl pants even though it’s laundry day, I found a pair smashed in the back of the drawer. They’re too small but nothing more will motivate me to head to the gym today like a painful wedgie that only a treadmill can work out of my ass.