Ever notice this time of year is when all the rude people in the country mask themselves as shoppers in pursuit of being gift givers? The hubs and I trekked down to our local mall this weekend to grab some gifts. Let me tell you a little about our “mall”. Any other time of year, mall walkers outnumber shoppers by a ratio of 27:1. There are approximately 412 empty slots and if it wasn’t for Bath and Body Works, I’m not sure anyone older than 20 would ever go there. Unless to walk.
The hubs and I walked into the mall, I turn around and say “let’s go, I can do Amazon.” But then I had to pee because these days, I can’t go more than 8 minutes without emptying my bladder. In the time I hit the bathroom and leave, the hubs is steamrolled by a small female mercenary toting a full Rock Band set, I’m leveled by two moms pushing strollers the size of friggin Winnebagos and some douche canoe blocks me from merging into the passing lane to get around him.
We left the mall and stopped at our local health food store. The hubs made healthy purchases. I bought a bar of chocolate. Organic. Fats don’t count if they’re organic. The more you know. While there, a lady argued up and down that an employee short changed her. Her argument was idiotic…clearly this woman uses Common Core for her finances. “My total was 5 and I gave you a 20 and a 5.” She finally realized she was given her 20 in return and mumbled it was the holidays. Sans apology.
I came home, spent 3 hours on Amazon and finished my shopping. And to avoid $55 in overnight shipping charges, I became a member of Amazon prime. Here’s to remembering to cancel in 30 days.